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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in hawkchick's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, December 8th, 2010
3:54 pm
Notes to self
I decided to try a journal online and have no friends, well maybe just Cindy if she's still on here. I have been going through some shit and just need to get it down. I don't get many chances on the computer, so it may be a little fragmented. The subject line will most likely be "notes to self". So here it goes...
This last couple of years have been pretty rough. An utter joy as well, of course, with the birth of Esther. She is one amazing little person and I'm happy to know her and care for her. I hope I don't screw her up.
Let's focus on my health on this post. After Esther was born (she was about 3 months) I developed pouchitis and had to gets nasty tests and be on antibiotics and stuff. Not fun. Also sex after baby was awful for the entire year post birth. Hurt like crazy! As soon as that got better, I got a bartholon cyst absess. I went to my gp with pain, was put on antibiotics and sent home with the promise of a gyno referral request. Well that request went nowhere, the course of ABs ended and the pain came back 100 fold! Went to the ER on BC Day holiday and saw the one doctor I loathed to see. He didn't know me, I just know his reputation from way too many women. He seemed nice enough, though shocked I was still nursing Esther after 13 months (even at night! shock! gasp!). He scheduled an operation the following day to have the cyst marsupulized and drained. What actually happened, I have no idea. I didn't see the doctor b-4 the operation, and didn't see him after. I spent a couple of hours in recovery, moved to pediatrics(no beds available in the woman's ward), told to eat and pee and get out. Really, though I'm paraphrasing a bit. The pain never went away, the cyst continued to hurt, bleed and oooze. I called the doc several times within the two months and he would just say to take more baths. He didn't even seem to like me calling him even though he gave me his numbers! He also never wanted to see me for a follow up after. I did go to see my gp shortly after and things seemed fine, it just didn't stay that way. Granted, I should have seen my gp before it got bad, but I was scared and I was so busy with Esther. Stupid, I know. Two montha later, I ended up in bad shape and lots and lots and lots and lots of pain. I went into ER on Thanksgiving (Canadian one in October), but I called first to make sure I didn't get the same doctor. I talked to the gyno on call, Dr Hunt. Oh, Dr Hunt, you are the best! Probably the nicest doctor I've ever met and I've met a few unfortunetly. The best bed side manner and genuinely concerned for my health. Kind and funny, he put me at ease the second I met him. The gentlest hand in the biz. If anyone is going to be hanging out with my hooha, other than my hubbie, it's this guy! He told me what I dreaded, that the cyst is absessed and I would need another surgery. I was put on the list for that very night. He visited me b-4 and after. He told me it was badly infected, that's why I had to stay overnight. IV ABs had to be done before I could go home. I asked him why this even happened, why didn't it work the first time? He said, "There seemed to be some confusion on what needed to be done." Hmmmmm, that means the other doctor fucked up. Shit! I hate that guy!
Ooop, gotta go. There are 3 more surgeries to come, more later.

Current Mood: drained
Tuesday, June 17th, 2008
6:43 pm
this is the only place i can post this
i haven't posted in forever! i must say i hate in-laws. they are a pain in my big ass. read my baby blog to find out.

Current Mood: crushed
Wednesday, August 1st, 2007
8:55 pm
Cindy, did you hear about the bridge in Minneapolis that collapsed today? Is your family safe? They probably don't travel into the city much. I didn't hear about it until now and now it's too late to call, but if my family was hurt I'd probably know by now. Someone would've called me, right? I'll have to call tomorrow. Blah. Sometimes I hate being so far away.

Current Mood: discontent
Monday, July 30th, 2007
6:18 pm
I'm going CRAZY!!!!!
I just started reading the final Harry Potter book. AAAHHHHH!!!!! I'm so excited! It's sooooo goooood! I had to wait till my co-worker finished her copy before I could start. It's been really really hard not to listen to the hype and the talk. I'm such a geek!
Okay, gotta go. Must. Read. Harry. Potter.

Current Mood: ecstatic
6:13 pm
Chocolate Whiskey Bundt Cake
Everyone needs a bundt cake recipe. Of course the whiskey makes it good...

Most of the alcohol in this cake cooks off, but a distinct whiskey flavour remains.

serving size: makes 12 to 14 servings.

1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (not Dutch-process) plus 3 tablespoons for dusting pan
1 1/2 cups brewed coffee
1/2 cup American whiskey
2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter, cut into 1-inch pieces
2 cups sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla

Special equipment: a 10-inch bundt pan (3 1/4 inches deep; 3-qt capacity)
Accompaniment: lightly sweetened whipped cream
Garnish: confectioners sugar for dusting

Put oven rack in middle position and preheat oven to 325°F. Butter bundt pan well, then dust with 3 tablespoons cocoa powder, knocking out excess.

Heat coffee, whiskey, butter, and remaining cup cocoa powder in a 3-quart heavy saucepan over moderate heat, whisking, until butter is melted. Remove from heat, then add sugar and whisk until dissolved, about 1 minute. Transfer mixture to a large bowl and cool 5 minutes.

While chocolate mixture cools, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt in a bowl. Whisk together eggs and vanilla in a small bowl, then whisk into cooled chocolate mixture until combined well. Add flour mixture and whisk until just combined (batter will be thin and bubbly). Pour batter into bundt pan and bake until a wooden pick or skewer inserted in center comes out clean, 40 to 50 minutes.

Cool cake completely in pan on a rack, about 2 hours. Loosen cake from pan using tip of a dinner knife, then invert rack over pan and turn cake out onto rack.

Cooks' note:
This cake improves in flavour if made at least 1 day ahead and kept, in a cake keeper or wrapped well in plastic wrap, at cool room temperature. It can be made up to 5 days ahead and chilled. Bring to room temperature before serving.

Current Mood: cheerful
Thursday, July 12th, 2007
10:06 pm
pot class
I'm taking a pottery class at the local rec centre. It's soooooo much fun! I've already made a bowl on the wheel and two little trays. Today I made a really funky vase on the wheel and molded two small mugs. I'm also trying a bit of sculpture for the first time. I'm trying to make an art-deco-esc cat; you know those tall skinny ones. At the moment, though, it's looking pretty phallic!

Current Mood: artistic
10:02 pm
oh no
I'm on Facebook... the aliens have taken over my brain. You know why I'm on Facebook? Of all people, my RABBI sent me an e-mail requesting to be "my friend". My Rabbi!
That's it, now I'm going to have to submit to other fads like those "crocs" holey foamy shoes (ugly!) and lower-back tattoos (oh, wait).

Current Mood: annoyed
Friday, June 29th, 2007
1:06 pm
new vice, and it's not cigarettes
Harry Potter is my new addiction. I vowed not to get tangled in it's web around the time the movies came out. I stayed strong for all these years. I totally caved almost two weeks ago and now I just finished book four. Thought I'd try to get through all of them before the last one comes out in July. Wish me luck. Peter is making fun of me.

Current Mood: dorky
Friday, June 22nd, 2007
4:50 pm
icky test
I have to go to the hospital on Tuesday. Blah. I'm getting an HSG test done. It is where they inject dye into me and look at my insides. The uterus and tubes to be specific. I'm supposed to take antibiotics just in case there is an infection, take 2 advil an hour before the appointment, and I have to take the day off from work. Peter also has to come with me. They also say it is not painful. Ha! Why, then, do I have to take the day off and need to be accompanied home? I'm not looking forward to it. However, this test should tell me if my tubes are blocked by scar tissue from my multiple surgeries and I was told that this might increase my fertility since the dye will end up flushing bacteria from my uterus. Anyway, wish me luck.

Current Mood: anxious
Monday, June 18th, 2007
9:02 pm
cabbage rolls
filling:
1 pound ground beef or chicken
sprinkle of paprika
sprinkle of garlic salt
salt/pepper to taste
1/4 cup uncooked rice
1 egg
1/4 cup water
1 tbs ketchup
(moosh together with fork, let rest in fridge 15 minutes)

sauce:
2 cups tomato sauce
1 cup water
1/4 cup vinegar
1 tbs worster sauce
1 tbs ketchup
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
salt/pepper
1 tsp paprika
1 large onion chopped in big pieces
3 garlic clove cut in half

cabbage:
boil cabbage whole in large pot until the leaves soften enough to peal off, then remove from water and let to cool on a towel until cool enough to handle. What is easiest, though, is try to find the variety of cabbage that is a bit "frilly" and loosely packed. It is possible to peal the leaves away before it's boiled - saves A LOT of time. Once pealed, blanched leaves in boiling water for about 10 minutes until pliable enough to wrap something. Remove from water and place on towel until cool enough to handle.

fill and cook:
place a dollop of filling in the middle of a cabbage leaf wrap around tightly. Place in large pan. Once you've used up all the filling, pour sauce over. If there is any left over cabbage, shred it and add to the pan. If you have any leftover filling, make "meatballs" and add to pan.
bake covered with foil at 375 degrees for 90 minutes to an hour, basting every half hour or so.

Note: you can easily make this vegetarian. You can either use veggie ground round - it works okay. What is the best though is cooked wild and/or brown rice with mushrooms. Add whatever veggies you like, chopped small. You don't have to cook it in the oven as long though since you have to cook the rice before you wrap it in the cabbage.

Current Mood: nerdy
Sunday, June 17th, 2007
7:35 pm
trying to paint my thumb green
I planted stuff today. I have a little bit of a yard where plants grow and tiny bit of grass. Our landlord said I could plant, so I planted. Simple stuff like carrots and flowers. I am also trying pumpkin. I LOVE roasted pumpkin seeds. We'll see what happens. As you can tell, I am not much of a gardener, even though my mom is a genious grower. Wish my luck.

Current Mood: tired
7:23 pm
fish soup - no dairy
1 small onion chopped
3 cloves garlic minced
1 tbs minced ginger or 1 tsp dried
(these get sauted in a little olive oil together until tender)
add one tsp paprika and cook 1 more minute
add about 6 cups of water bring to a boil
add to boiling pot:
handful of corn niblets
couple of handfuls of green beans snapped into bite-size pieces
2 potatoes chopped small
2 carrots chopped small
2 bay leaves
2 large filets of fish cubed (cod or snapper works the best)
2 tbs tomato sauce (or more to taste)
season with salt, pepper and 2 tbs of an herb of your choice (I like basil)
(boil lightly for 20 minutes until fish is done and potatoes/carrots are tender)
you can add some hot-sauce at this point if you like

-you can use whatever veggies you want, but don't nix the potatoes

Current Mood: lethargic
Friday, June 15th, 2007
6:02 pm
quick!
not much time. menu for tonight is stuffed cabbage rolls. yum. i am in a hurry cuz they take 2 hours to make and i still have to bake the bread and steam some broccoli. was going to make fish soup (my absolute fave of soups - later i'll post the recipe that i made up), but it looks like i've run out of time. alas, tomorrow we'll have soup. so that's it.
baby report: we went to a fertility specialist the other day. everything looks normal. the only thing left is to make sure peter has swimming swimmers and that my tubes aren't blocked. wish us luck - i'm getting impatient. blah
oh, i'm sure you've noticed my lack of upper-case, i'm just bored and trying to mix things up :)
good shabbos

Current Mood: busy
Thursday, June 14th, 2007
6:32 pm
I'm such a sucker for these things
There must be a 12-step program for this problem. I just can't resist filling these thing out! AAAAHHHHHH!!!! Thanks Cindy.


1. First thing you wash in the shower?
hair

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
red, it says "Canada" on the front

3. Do you like coffee?
yes, tho I don't drink it very often. I work with it, so the caffeine probably absorbs through my skin

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
pretty good, tho I have a little tummy ache, but what else is new

6. Whats the last letter of your crush’s name?
current or past? past: w (first) n (last)
current: don't have one, really

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?
what?

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
i don't remember my dreams

9. Could you eat your favorite food everyday for a month?
I may have done so.

10. What are you craving?
a juicy lucy, minnesotans know what that is

11. Do you floss?
not as often as i should

12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
stuffed cabbage rolls, yum!

15. Would you dance with me to the taco song?
what's the taco song?

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
probably

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
lick

18. Do you use smileys?
sure

19. How many bedrooms are in your house?
two, one bedroom and one used as an office

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?
i've seen some up close, but never met them formally

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
used to, but puked it up the last time i ate them at the mn state fair

22. Whats the last song that was stuck in ur head?
that umbrella song, it's driving me nuts!

23. How many countries have you visited?
us, canada, israel and the london airport (does that count?)

24. Are your parents strict?
Kind of, not so much than to my sisters. The youngest rules!

25. Would you go sky diving?
NO WAY!

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
who's paying?

27. Would you throw potatoes at him?
raw or cooked?

28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
my diamond ring

30. Do you rent movies often?
yes

31. Who sits behind you in your math class?
math? too long ago to remember

34. Can you count backwards from 74?
sure, but why?

35. Where are you going to be Saturday night?
probably with some friends getting ice cream, that's been the trend the last few weeks

36. Brown or white eggs?
doesn't matter, the color just comes from the color of the hen

37. Like rap music?
uh...no

38. Ever taken a train?
only light rail and the nyc subway

39. Experienced the twin towers falling in New York?
i was at work, and my customers would come in and give me progress reports until i got home and bawled my eyes out

41. What day of the week is it?
thursday

42. What was your lunch?
rice and chicken

43 What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
i don't know

45. Ever have cream puffs?
yes

46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
what?

47. So, how about them Yankees?
what? is that a hockey team? i only know hockey teams, eh

50. What is your bus number for school?
i think it was 27

51. Is your hair curly?
bone straight

52. Last time you cried?
couple of days ago, we are thinking of moving off the island blah

53. Ever walked into a wall?
sure

55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun?
what?

56. Are you currently wearing socks?
no, i still have my tights on and my work clothes

57. Favorite time of the year?
late spring is soooo nice here

59. Are you a generally happy person?
sure, tho sometimes i wish i was happier

60. Are you wearing jeans?
no, still in the work clothes

61. The next person you’ll hold hands with?
peter, he has nice hands

62. Do you sleep with the TV on?
only if i fall asleep on the couch

63. Have you ever drank alcohol straight from the bottle?
of course, i'm such a boozer

64. Do you think you’re old?
at work i'm the oldest by a solid 7 years from most of my employees...sad isn't it

65. Are you afraid of the dark?
sometimes

66. Do you like your life right now?
i need a baby

67. When’s the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
a couple of weeks ago

68. Do you knock on wood?
only on a door

69. Do you have good vision?
no, i have a lazy eye that's hard to control, glasses and bad night vision blah

70. Do you go to synagogue regularly?
every sabbath, there's lunch after and i can't refuse free food!

71. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
i hope i never have to find out

72. Do you have a job?
yes, i manage a busy downtown cafe with a bunch of whiny college students. i hope to change careers soon and be a mom

73. Are you friends with your ex?
no

74. What brands are you wearing?
smart set is the best store ever (shirt), i made my own skirt, and the only tights i wear are the low-rise "waist-band-less variety

75. Can I tap that?
what?

76. Have you ever crawled through a window?
i don't think so

77. Can you handle the truth?
do we really have a choice?

78. What was the most recent thing you bought?
father's day card

79. How often do you talk on the phone?
everyday, mostly to peter

80. Are you in a complicated relationship?
marriage, is that complicated?

81. Do you hate more than 3 people?
no, tho i have disliked people

82. Have you ever tripped someone?
probably as a cruel kid

83. Are you sarcastic?
nah...nevvveer

84. Have you ever slapped someone?
i wished i had

85. Who was the last person you hugged?
peter

86. Do you use chap stick?
burts' bees, the one with pomegranate oil

87. Are you too forgiving?
"too", i don't know

88. Do you own something from Hot Topic?
what's that?

89. Do you own a gun?
does a staple gun count?

90. Have you made a prank phone call?
when i was a cruel kid, maybe

91. Have you ever been in a castle?
just a small touristy one by my house

92. Do you like your hair?
i guess

93. Do you like yourself?
i guess

94. Are you closer to your mother or father?
i am close to both in very different ways

95. Do you chat on AIM often?
msn im, to my sister-in-law sometimes

97. Do you want anyone?
what?

98. What's the closest thing to you thats red?
part of the stained glass in my window

99. Does your crush comment your myspace?
i'm not on myspace, and i'm probably the only one in the world that isn't

Current Mood: bouncy
Friday, June 8th, 2007
12:54 pm
dinner
Tonight's menu for the Sabbath. Chicken. The maple vinegar one. That was a big hit the other week. There is a brand of hummus that is out-of-this-world called "Sabras". It's out of New York, so I'm sure my American neighbours can find it. (Did you notice the "u" in neighbors that I used? I have Canadian spell-check - isn't that a riot?!) My favourite (there's that "u" again) is the roasted pine nut or the supremely spicy. Yum. Oh, I bake my own bread since I won this HD Kitchen Aide mixture at a charity auction a couple of months ago. It's so easy! I guess I'll steam some veggies - nothing fancy. I don't usually do dessert, but if I have time, maybe I'll go get some pareve (vegan) ice cream. Okay, so this post is so random, but I'm just killing a little time until Peter is ready to go out. We have to run some errands in town.
Love to all those I miss!

Current Mood: chipper
12:48 pm
mmmmm...milk
My dear friend has been whining about milk lately, so I feel the need to whine too. I don't necessarily have an obsession with milk, but of milk products. Specifically cheese. I love all that is cheese and whatever cheese can be melted onto. mmmmm...nachos. It has been a problem, because my tummy hates cheese. Bla that is life.

Current Mood: blah
Wednesday, June 6th, 2007
9:40 pm
BLA
I can't believe that Stanley Cup was won by Disney. Peter is so pissed.
I hate Disney.

Current Mood: cranky
9:32 pm
dinner
i was feeling homesick and decided to make spagetti like my mom makes. the secret is ground beef and worstechestershestershire sauce (or however you spell it!). There's more to it if you want, but it was soooo good, I ate way too fast and got a tummy ache. it was totally worth it. yum. tomorrow is leftovers, can't wait. oh, and i made the easiest chicken recipe last friday that was sooooo good.
-one chicken cut-up
-2 tbs olive oil
-1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
-1/4 maple syrup
-2 tbs dried herb (i used basil)
-salt/pepper
-marinate chicken in the maple mixture over night (optional)
-put everything in pan
-preheat oven 400
-bake covered 25 minutes
-uncover and bake another 30 minutes
YUM!

Current Mood: calm
Tuesday, May 29th, 2007
8:33 pm
dinner
The reason I don't post very often is that I don't think I have anything useful to say. I decided to be more disciplined and write at least what I had for dinner. So tonight Peter and I made fish 'n' chips. It was awesome! Just like in a restaurant! The batter is just 1 3/4 cups flour, 12 oz dark beer and salt/pepper to taste. Fry it up, yum! The chips were just freezer ones baked in the oven, nothing special but yummy too. I made the tartar sauce, but bottled kind is okay too. That's it, nothing else going on.

Current Mood: full
Sunday, February 18th, 2007
8:29 pm
moving
So I'm moving in a week and a half. I have only 6 evenings to pack. I'm a bit overwhelmed. We have lived in this crappy little apartment for 3 years and we have accumulated a ton of junk. I'm annoyed with the amount of it. Part of me would like it all to burn up so we can start over, but we don't have insurance. And I suppose we'd lose our wedding pics and other sentimental things. Ah well. A-packing-I-will-go, I guess. Our new place is going to be nice. It is not so much bigger, but it has a second bedroom for Peter's office and it's better laid out too. I'm looking forward to a bigger kitchen. I'm sick of the tiny galley kitchen that is so irritatingly common with apartments. We're getting a lot of windows, especially one in the bath and the kitchen. All bathrooms should have a window in my opinion. We are moving to a converted house. It has 3 suites built in it. Ours' is around the back of the house which means we get our own entrance (no more stinky hallways) and the use of the back yard. It's really close to downtown (4-5 blocks), so I'll be 3 blocks from my work. Sounds good, eh? It better be, housing is soooooo expensive here! You can take a look at pics at http://members.shaw.ca/Orm1/2%20bedroom%20suite.htm
I'm overwhelmed cuz we have soooo much stuff and the floor plan seems sooooo small. Well, wish me luck. I'm going to go to bed now.

Current Mood: nervous
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